arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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