nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize