Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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