I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
