i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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