You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
