and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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