Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
