As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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