You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
