He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
