Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
