hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
