There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
