Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
