I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
