I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
