as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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