This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Fuck appropriateness.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
