The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
