4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
