she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
