My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I am mentally ready for anal.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
