sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
