come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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