In the future we'll all be gay
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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