his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize