first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
