and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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