I wish I could punch you in the face.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
How's work?
Spinning.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
