I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
