I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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