if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
