there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
