Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
