It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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