I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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