he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
