Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
