mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
