my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
