this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
