Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
