Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
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