He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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