toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
