Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
