No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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