dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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