Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize