i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
