I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
