Small penises have feelings too.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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