He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
People in love make me want to vomit
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
you had me at cake vodka
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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