His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
