My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
