well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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