My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
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